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Sunday, October 15, 2006


Every fall Sunday is dedicated to football, and while I have yet to graduate to the level of decanting aged cabernet during a Giants game (I still maintain beer as a sports beverage of choice), I wonder what would happen if the pigskin and grape met?

It seems you can't turn on ESPN w/o hearing the latest and the greatest of the 'Dallas Days of Our Lives' drama involving Terrell Owens. I considered not posting this for the fear of perpetuating the TO saga, but apparently I can't help it. I'm hooked on soap opera.

Some food for thought. If Terrell Owens were a wine, what type of wine would he be? Or what type of wine would any athlete be? Critics and aficionados alike will generally liken wine to personality traits, and what better character to start off w/ then the bratty, brash and poisonous TO?

Considering the fact that he's big, loud and colorful, its gotta be in the red family. His muscularity has a spicy, tannic bite, so that leads me to syrah. The more I think of it, there are very little refined or balanced qualities that TO possesses. All this leads me to conclude that Terrell Owens is an under ripe Petite Sirah, maybe from the Anderson Valley in California.

If I was truly accurate, I'd also add that he has a tendency to become corked. Now a tainted, green Anderson Valley Petit Sirah can certainly be poisonous.

Any other intriguing figures to tackle? Perhaps venturing into politics, Bill Clinton could be a fun candidate for a wine diagnosis. Any grapes out there prone to deception and adultery?

2 Comments:

Anonymous Haralambos H. said...

The true issue here is that either of these low-class, brainless, ego driven bafoons be categorized as anything but Cristal or Grey Goose - not wine. They're both overpriced (TO's salary, Bubba's expensive rent-a-lecture charges) and there is not alot to them that warrants it. Empty inside their label and in the limelight only due to the unnecessary media hype around them. Thanks, ESPN-Sports Soap Opera Sportscenter and Liberal media!

Monday, October 16, 2006  
Anonymous Joe Coelho said...

How about vinegar?

Wednesday, October 18, 2006  

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